friday
well woke up to a phone at 7.00am from my work and full on dramas. Not sure how much longer I will have a job.
So my day has not gone off great at all. 3 more phone calls and its only 8.30am.
Fianace left for nelson and left me a smoke which of course I have had with all this crap going on today not going to happen.
Sounds like an excuse I cant focus on stopping with this hanging over me today.
Clematis yep sounds good I will stick to my orgnial plan of Monday being the day.
Hopefully things get resolved today re work.
Stick of it all.
2 steps forward 10 backwards as per normal
Taken your advice
Hey all
Well I have written things done as you all suggested. Why I want to quit & set up a plan also.
I want to quit because:
My health long term
Sick of feeling tired, not much energy, and generally feeling yuk
My breathing is funny at times
The cost financially
MY SON
My skin, wrinkles, lines & the colour of my skin (oh so vain LOL)
Colds & coughs to often
My plan to deal with cravings & situations:
Distract myself by changing the situation, doing something else
Using NRT
Drinking water to flush my system & help with the cravings
Exercise for stress relief, get fit & distraction
Walk away when something happens & I feel a craving
Dont listen to the voice "just one"
Put the money aside for ME or put it on bills to reduce them
Utilise quitline & their resources
Think of my reasons & benefits of not smoking
I have printed the above out and its in my bag for when needed.
I am over the smoking I am full of a head cold, Im tired and generally I am sick of it.
Now this sounds alwful but its not to be taken as it sounds. I am determined to quit once & for all but I am getting fed up slipping and the constant attempts which always seem to go so well then I slip and restart.
I have never really done a list like above so this may help to pull it out when needed.
My son this morning asked me why I always smoke. I apoligised and said Mummy is trying hard to stop but its not easy.
He asked why and again i tried to explain which of course he didnt really understand.
He then asked why daddy smokes. So many questions.
I told him I was going to stop again and i got huge cuddles and a big Yay!
He told me he pretends to smoke with little sticks. This shot me down big time. Hes 5 and hes copying his parents. OMG a huge poke in the backside for me this morning.
So fingers crossed this time I can do it as not sure how many more times but I know I will keep going.
Also a question I see on daily deal today there is a $55 deal for hypno to stop smoking. Anyone done this? Just thinking of a different approach.
Till next time :)
Still here
Yep im still here but in the background due to slipping at a function and so far not stopped.
I am setting next Monday as my date, have a few social situations this weekend and know I will slip once again.
Also have my partner away from Friday to monday and know I will smoke when home on my home.
Guttered YES I AM. But only have myself to blame.
I am still determined to get back on track and come Monday I will be back on here full time annoying everyone with my blogs.
Till then :)
patched up today
well yesterday going ct worked till 8.00pm last night then I couldnt deal with it anymore.
I dont really want to use patches as I feel Im feeding the addiction but when I went with out yesterday fine till later.
I know I could of worked thru it if I really tried but I didnt so once again I failed.
So patched up today and carry on once again.
Feeling very low & down in the dumps today!
Sorry for the poor me blogg but not happy and feel like c**p!
Addiction
Hi Im Yas01 and I have a drug addiction. I am addicted to nicotine. It is nasty, time consuming, costs a fortune and combined with other posions its a killer.
I slipped badly yesterday and I mean badly and it wasnt until then that I realised its not a habit its an addiction. And all Im doing is feeding the addiction.
I had real stressful things happening at work and I turned to nicotine for stress relief. Why? cos all it did was make me angry with myself and feel miserable.
I had let my son down (thankfully he didnt see me smoke).
So this morning its time to STOP feeding the addiction, admit I have a problem and deal with it once and for all.
I came the smokes away.
I have a patch in my bag if needed but Im trying without as I want to stop feeding the addiction. If the day gets to bad I can pop it on.
I am not embrassed that I have come clean about having an addiction or that I slipped yesterday. Im being honest with you and most importantly myself!
I dont care how many attempts Im up to the fact I keep trying is more important. And the fact that I have faced up to the addiction, seen what Im doing and now its time to stop feed the demon. And get my life back!
struggling today
I came right today for a bit and now Im struggling again. Dont know why.
Went to the library after work got my books, a dvd to watch, cd that my ex husband kept (plonker).
Went and got the fruit, came home went to make a salad with the fresh lettuce and on the inside it was revolting and slimy. Did my prunes would of sounded like a idiot but no one else is home, put the washing on, make a cuppa and I still want to go and get some smokes.
WHY???
I have a headache pounding, I have been drinking water all day, patch is on, a few lozenges when needed.
SO WHY???
As you can see im trying to keep busy and not think about it. Its not cravings its just the habit I think.
I am so sick of this happening everytime when I go so well then its like a huge roadblock in front of me. I am trying to hard to get around it without caving but AAAGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
focus
Hi all, day 10 for me today and I am starting to struggle a bit with thoughts etc.
Need to refocus & get myself together.
Been down this road so know what can happen. Not planning on going back there.
Getting new lot of patches today as I am using an old box from last time. I think getting them and reading the quit book again today will help me regroup so to speak.
My son loved the swimming yesterday going back again this week then will organise lessons. He amazed me even went as far as putting his head half under the water. Incredible after the fear hes had.
Phone call last night and our drive & fence get started next week. Due to the earthquakes back in June.
So with all the new exciting stuff happening I can do this. My life is much better than it was 10 days ago that I know.
People are commenting on how well I look and most of them dont even know Ive quit again. Ive kept it quiet due to the slip & relapses all the time. Once Im further on I will start telling people. As Ive found people can be quite nasty in their comments ie: I knew you couldnt keep it up, thought that would happen etc. I'll show them.
Well off to get organised and focused!
Will check in later :)
day 9
morning
Well had a very shaky night and a real good one just a few mins ago and now I have a scared wee man. Its so not fair.
I am so over these shakes Im not scared but enough is enough! Mother nature needs to give us a break for us and our kids sanity!
Any way, yesterday morning I was a b**ch on wheels I was nasty I snapped, yelled, cried and everything else. Today all good.
Have a house full of people this weekend coming so will be trying but I can do it.
Do I miss it? At times, not so much the smoke but I miss the habit of it.
Got to cut it short my son is beside himself. Will check in later
day 7
Howdie
well made it to day 7! Feeling great.
Just had a mate round who is a smoker we sat outside she smoked I didnt panic or worry. The smell at first was nice then it got to the point it was horrible.
Been to the park with my son and his friends, bike riding and on slides, seesaws etc now home relaxing.
Got my nails done this morning have decided I am going to hava pedicure if some of my non smoking money if I can as i am real ticklish so should be entertaining.
But Im feeling awesome and free. Loving my smokefree life now!
day 6
Morning beautiful people!
Feeling great this morning woke feeling great hopefully the real tireness is going, teeth are feeling better I am sure I was clenching my jaw thru the night made an effort not to when I woke, also used sensitive toothpaste before bed.
Well did the dummy run of the dinosaur cake its huge could 3 cakes to get the size I needed. Then cut it out, iced roughly without all the fancy stuff and stuck it together. Looks pretty cool I reckon. Now we need to eat it!
Off to a mates after preshcool shes a smoker and normally we sit outside with a coffee & smoke while the kids play but shes cool when I say Ive stopped she doesnt make a deal about it. So already have my lozenges etc ready for that just incase.
Got my new script for patches yesterday along with the new QUIT BOOK. Awesome Quitline its great so much more information for us. Well done!!
Well better go as things to do and get out the door.
Take care all and have a great day
day 5!!!
OMG its wizzing by. Cant beleive Im doing it again. Feeling good, having great sleeps but Im waking in the morning so tired I can hardly get out of bed. Is this part of quitting??
Have worked out my toothache is from me clenching my jaw & teeth at night in bed. I woke last night and realized I was doing it. Why I wouldnt have a clue. Ive never done it before!??
Very werid things happen when you quit I feel sorry for my body for what its gone thru over the past 20yrs and now its trying to cope without all the toxins & posions. Im guessing its having a rough time.
:)
day 4
Morning all,
well day 4 today and I feel fine re smoking but yuk in other ways.
My teeth are aching and yesterday found I need to get some moles cut out one in particular on my neck is just throbbing I cant even wear my work shirt today as it rubbing on it. My necklace is off I never take it off feels strange.
My son went yesterday to the doc as he has the cough still since before xmas now they are saying hayfever as well as asthma. FFS! Not far hes been coughing for months, on antibotics which do nothing hopefuly it is just hayfever.
But anyway I feel fine re the not smoking now, a few niggles yesterday but I just talked to myself and it passed.
Got on my crosstrainer last night felt so good to pound it out, went to the park after work with my son, his bike and the dog.
Funny when I was smoking I felt there was never enough time in the day now Ive quit I am always busy but theres always time for me or my son or to just chill for a minute or 2.
Reading thru the blogs this morning everyone is doing great, keep up the great work all ODAAT!
day 3 here I come
Morning,
day 3 and feeling positive.
Thinking to myself last night about how many attempts Ive done, all the slipups, the just ones etc. What for?? Why do I want to keep inhaling posions?, so many questions last night and all I could come back with is NO MORE!
Im over the attempts all I have to do is focus, when a craving or situations arises tell myself "no you dont do that anymore", "whats that going to achieve?", "think of your son & yourself".
Deep thinking was happening last night and I feel better for it today.
Nice surprise yesterday my fiance plumbed in a new vaniety in the bathroom, we needed it.
Our house is mid 60's and we have painted quickly to freshen it but the bathroom is formica walls & ceiling and a groovy austin powers vanitey not any more! Looks lovely.
Kept myself busy this morning, load of washing on at 7.00am, emptied dishwasher, then at 7.30 the morning craving hit a lozenge &shower and good to go now.
Keeping busy is the key along with positive thoughts & the reason why you want to quit.
I also recommend quitcoach I did that yesterday and was really impressed with it.
Well better go as feeding the cat next door and need to turn their hose off before I go to work.
take care all and will check in on everyone later :)
day 2
Morning, day 2 here I am be nice!!!
Good craving this morning only cos of the morning ciggy. Feeling better now Im blogging on here.
A beautiful sunny day in chch today and so far no shakes!
My partner has the day off today lucky thing he is over the moon with the times he did yesterday in the car. Hes so funny.
Off to the park after work with my son for more bike riding hes doing so well. Today im planning on doing a dummy run for his birthday cake a dinosaur! Will be interesting.
Better do some work, take care and have a great day all :)
nearly end of day 1
Well its nearly over and its been ok. Mid morning changed the patch to the jumbo one (step 1) instead of step 2 as I felt very edgy. Once the big one kicked in was way easier.
Have had a great day, baking, did craft with my son, went to the park as hes started riding his new big bike without the training wheels so we go everyday for practice and today he rode without me beside him and he rode back to me woop woop!!! Then had a mate over for a playdate with her son. Was lovely.
Got my mountain bike out of the garage and cleaned it up ready to go riding with my son a little later on. (Good exercise for me to)
Fiance went really well best ever in car 10.9sec, 10.6 & 10.5 at 135miles per hour! Hes stoked at the after function now so wont see him till the wee hours.
But Im feeling positive and when a few niggles hit today I just looked at my son and hugged him. I thought to myself to it for us!
There are my partners smokes in the cupboard and I have known that all day but havent been tempted which is great.
Well off to paint this girls nails, cuppa then bed with my book. Was reading till 11.30 last night I couldnt put it down.
take care all and have a great night :)
Morning
Morning all well here I go again.
Read thrun all your responses before and yes I do need to do it for me also. I know that as well as doing it for my son.
My son just saw my patch and went "Mum" in a horribe voice as he thought it was a type of smoke. I explained it was helping Mum stop. He was happy then.
I feel good for stopping but also a little sad, stupid I know but its like my left hand has been chopped off.
But all good onwards & upwards. One day at a time. I know its going to be hard but I am ready for a fight I am sick of 2 steps forward and 10 backwards. Im not prepared to fail once again Im stick of giving in to the fags.
My partner is off drag racing today we going to potter around as my son gets bored out at the track. The wind has picked up once again over this damm wind and a good 5.1 shake early this morning just to let us know they still are there. Lovely!
well off to get my son out the shower as hes been painting and I think most of the paint is on him!
Will check in later, thanks you guys.
Ady I want a window seat please :)
Im ready thanks to my 5yr old son
OMG, my son & I have just been talking and because of him and his comments Im ready.
I blogged not long ago saying I wasnt but now tomorrow is the day.
"Mummy I love you so much, youre the best ever. Why you keep saying no more smokes but you do?, I dont want you to go away Mummy please no more"
Our conversation started like this. I explained soon darling but I cant.
"Why mummy"
I tried to explain about addiction etc, but of course he didnt understand.
"Mummy please no more, I love you and dont want another mummy, please mummy"
OMG, I am ready thanks to my darling boy. I cant leave him without a mum just because I think I cant quit.
I have always wanted to quit but always relapse or find some reason to smoke again, stress, earthquakes etc but my son is the most important reason for me to do this.
And you know what instead of stashing my leftover ciggys they will get snapped in half put in water and thrown away.
Thank you my darling son I love you so much and thank you for making me see whats really important xxx
Howdie
Hi all, just a quick one to let you know even though Im still smoking I still look in every day.
My son started to ride his bike without training wheels last night so proud but after running round the park after him I can tell that Im smoking again. I was puffing and carrying on so bad, partner also.
Still not ready as yet as I know if I hurry in I will slip pretty much straight away but I know Im not far off.
Thanks for all your kind blogs yesterday :)
You guys are awesome
Hi all
Just read all your posts you put on my blogg yesterday. OMG you are so great, so supportive & so full of advice.
I have tried champix made me seriously ill, zyban not allowed due to my medical history, the doctors recommend patches will be the only option or will power (but ha ha doesnt happen to good)
My partner is now smoking. And yes I think you are all right I do better when hes smoking. Its werid as I would of thought both being quit would make it easier but it didnt!
Yes I will reset my date I was going to do straight away but I think thats half the problem I race back in to soon before Im really ready. On a scale of 1-10 I know Im about 8.5 at the moment ready to quick. Just need that little bit extra.
Will give myself a bit of space and prepare myself and then restart. Its a bugger this addiction. Really wish I hadnt started just to be in with the right crowd. Stupid but I did and now I am battling to rid myself of this. I will do it famous last words I know but I will get there.
Thanks to you guys for not giving up on me once again :)xxx
Day 7 today
BUT, last night both my partner & I stuffed up.
We were talking about both feeling terrible and just wanting one. He went and got us a pack.
OMG on day 7 here I am smoking again.
Feeling guttered and dont really know why I did. I am not beating myself up but this is guttering.
Unfortunately Yas it is so common...I dont know what it is and the scientist who discovers the answers is going to be a rich man!!! I know when I was giving up I now look back and I think I was "picking" at my partner for an argument so I could buy some smokes....the addiction sits in the back of your brain and coaxes you on, and makes mountains out of molehills and you think that having that ciggy is going to make everything go away...but it doesnt....the problem is still there, but now you feel 10 times worse for having that ciggy. I'm so sorry that the pressure you are under made you have that ciggy, its a terrible feeling thats for sure. I hope your day gets a bit better. Dont be too hard on yourself, just pick yourself back up again, and quit again, you will do it :)
Hi there Yas! Sounds like your day is going to be very interesting. Hope it improves. Good news is you have a long weekend to look forward to. Take care.
Don't worry about the smoking Yas, you've got a Hypno session booked in, when that day comes, you'll walk out of that office a Non-smoker & feeling really good, i bet you do.
Just focus on the problem at hand, some finance issue at the nelson branch obviously, don't stress it too much, it all comes down to management not you.! (unless you're the manageress)
Check the paper out for sits vacant too, no harm in looking.
you'll perform better if you can stop stressing so much.
cheers
Hi Yas, I know that this is frustrating for you but I am a believer that you shouldn't deviate from your original plan. It opens up the door for excuses to come in. Stick with Monday matey, you had said previously that being home on your own for the weekend is testing. Monday will be a good day for you as long as you feel ready to commit to it even with your hypnotherapy session in a few weeks. Just relax, the only one putting the pressure on yourself is you - be kind to yourself:)
Well just had one of the big wigs in wait & see what happens next week with meetings. I will continue coming till Im told not to!
Sorry to hear about your crap morning yas, but try and focus on not letting this interfere with your plan. You can doeeet!