I cant believe it...
20 days and still going strong YAY ME!!!
Im enjoying reading other blogs as Ive been away for a coupla days, everyones experiences help others and reading them keeps it so very real to me of achieving being smokefree everyday.
So been out and about a bit more then the normal school run and shopping, I had my sister in the car the other day (she still smokes) wasnt overly troubling for me which I'll take as a small victory its just I find Im set off by such random things a good eg being I was driving to uni to drop my hubby off a lady turned onto the same road as myself and she had a smoke in her mouth while driving I did used to smoke in the car but only if it was raining or didnt have enough time to have one before I went to work that was not often but without really thinking I exclaimed to hubby to 'start rifling through my bag and grab a lozenge for me' and I HAD 2 HAVE RIGHT THEN. Crazy as other times its not so intense I will get there my will power and lozenges have been my saving grace.
The craving is still there distant but nonetheless bothersome! fairly cruisy day though. Not much else to report but did feel the need to check in and keep myself on the right path.
I made it to 14 days ya'll and so proud couldnt of done it without everyones cyber help here!!! Phew wipes the head.
So...at this stage Im still missing my morning one lozenge takes cares of that for now and I take them when I get annoyed, irritated most times Ive also been hopping straight into this sight.
My sleep admittedly hasnt been the greatest but im coping with that too.
The one thing I have enjoyed the most would have to be smelling clean my hubby smells gorgeous. I wake up to my children with the knowledge Im no longer trying to slowly kill them with all the chemicals stuck in my clothes when I cuddle them. Harsh but true. Im having to face a few other lifes challenges as well especially financially at this time and healthwise also Im taking it day by day. Being smokefree is becoming a reality for me after almost 20 odd years oh gosh im close to crying
Thankgoodness for blogging...
Right now I know what Id do if it was not available having the support here to turn to when things go to custard has helped me soooo much.
To all those that are here on day 1 to day 100 and more
THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU THANKYOU. There is inspiration in each and every blog I read that helps me get through the minutes, hours and days.
Not a brass razoo...
to my name yet somehow its quite cathartic cant use whats not there and thankgoodness for that otherwise highly likely I could of so bought a packet today and you know what it wasnt emotionally driven at all I've been keepin on keeping on with no smoking feeling average no more no less but I would of bought some if Id had the money weird!!!
LOZENGES!!! today lol (my poor attempt at humour) anyhoo
my wagon is still intact despite all those dirty lil puddles and holes Ive narrowly been missing on my continuing journey of being smokefree. As you may or may not know Ive been having a tough time of it the past coupla days give or take but as the time ticks by and leads into tomorrow big 'ups' to all who remain a non-smoker, A hand offered to those that are hanging on by a thread and a shoulder to rest your weary head from all those horrible nicodemon thoughts!!!
OMG thats shocking...
10 days into this and I would of saved $144 or thereabouts sharing a 30 pack between me and my hubby every 2 days or so this is money we dont have at the moment cause we never had it to begin with tis money id been scrounging on credit and robbing peter to pay Paul and Mary so to speak.
Im truly humbled now once the finances come right that money will remain in the places it should of stayed to begin with.
Almost not quite...
Now that I think back funny at the time not so much, had an emotional morning then went to pick hubby up from uni was craving really bad on the way home we stopped to shop I could smell it everywhere, I could see pple with those things in their mouths and wanting one was becoming intense. (So you can get this in context, im a stay at home mum at present and hadnt gone out hardly over the almost two weeks ive been smoke free) and we had to stop again to shop elsewhere I was shoring my partner up with support at the same asking him "If I buy one packet could you give up again after we'd smoked it?" I knew he wouldnt be able was a dumb question but subconciously I wanted him to tell me to get it anyway so I didnt feel so guilty if I did, knowing just one cig would break his admirable effort in remaining a non smoker I cursed him in my head blaming him because I couldnt buy or have one because he would not be able to deal with the consequences. In light of this while driving home and driving past the local dairy where we used to stop to get them I burst out with...NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE hubby has his caffeine for his treat and I have some steak which Id been craving for quite some time.
We had our treats did not need those stinky sticks hence Almost not quite.
Phew yesterday was not the best however today has been fabulous...started on a project Ive been thinking of doing for ages but just never had the time...scrapbooking! Ive been glueing my lil heart out and I have the beginnings of a scrapbook coming together I was so busy time just flew and not one thought of having a smoke WAHOO I count that as a win for today and seriously when I looked at myself in the mirror this morning my gosh my skin it doesnt look so haggard.