FAIL FAIL FAIL went to the supermarket, got a packet of tailor-mades, ripped one open and just rolled one and smoked it. No support when I needed it the most. Bummer. (PS Didnt enjoy it either)
And I still take it one day at a time. I dont wear the patches anymore, havnt for about two weeks now, but have found myself getting quite tearful at the smallest things, (maybe its S.A.D.) This is the weekend that I had been dreading, the first weekend without both my kids. I realised that it would be only me at home, and only myself to answer to. But I still havnt smoked, even though after 41 days, I still really crave them. Its funny, I do realise that smoking wont fix any issues that are happening in my life, but its almost like losing a security blanket. (Im typing this and realise it sounds crazy LOL). So I will carry on my smokefree journey the same way I have been doing it, with baby steps. Have a great long weekend everyone. Keep strong. xo
30 days smokefree
129grams not smoked
(and yes, I did save it!!!)
Ive spent some on a haircut, and I bought myself a winter beanie, as I work with special needs children, so am outside a lot during morning tea and lunch breaks.
I feel healthier, breathe easier and have had a lot of comments on my skin. People say it looks brighter.
I do still miss it, but am soooo glad I made the choice to give up.
For those of you just starting, take one day at a time. Baby steps. I chose to cut down to 4 a day first for 2 weeks before I gave up completely. Im glad I made that choice. Kee blogging on here. You dont have to blog ever day, but check in now and then. The people on here are an awesome support network.
Well, off to get ready for work. Glad Ive got my new beanie!!!!!
I guess Ive been making my blogs pretty short and sweet lately , the blink and you'll miss it kind, but I think Im still in a little bit of shock that Ive made it this far. There have been days that I have laughed, days that I have cried, days where I have screamed and days where I have wanted to lock myself in a room and throw away the key (day 5 for me) LOL. And there are still days, to be perfectly honest, where I have thought, "If they still sold smokes in packs of 10, I would be smoking", and not on the road to re-covery. Because, yes, that is what it is. My body still does WANT that one first thing in the morning even 24 days later. I am still having health issues, and was in hospital again over the weekend. They still dont know what is actually going on, but it all coincides with when I started on here. And they are putting it down to coincidence. So, as we put one foot in front of the other, and take one day at a time, our journey continues. You guys are still amazing!!! PS Really excited...first treat is tomorrow!!!! Im getting my haircut for the first time in about 10 months!!!!! YAHOO!!!!
And still ok. Good days and bad days still, and still have the cravings at some stages during the day, but Im proud Ive made it this far!!!
Two weeks!!! If you had asked me at day 5, I wouldnt have thought I would get here! I would be lying if I said I didnt still want or crave one now or then. Mornings still the worst. But I am here, and I have made it! Lots of laughter and tears later. As I have said on here before, and I will keep saying, you guys rock!!! To all the people just starting out, take it one day at a time. I still do!!!
Nearly at the end of day 11!!!! BIG THANK YOU to my supporters on here, you know who you are, I couldnt have done it without you. Health still not good, blood test after blood test, but smile still on my face and still SMOKE FREE and proud of myself!!!
Well, I made it to the end of Day 8, and I realised that I havnt blogged since Day 5. Been a long few days since then, but Ive made it..smoke free. Not sure who read my "sensitive" blog a few blogs back, but Ive had to go on medication since then. If that doesnt help, its off to hospital for me. But at least now I know, and it was the unknown that was the worst!!! So now I can get my positive attitude back, and my smile on my face!! And i wish you all well, and know that I am still on this journey with you!!!
"Blah" is the word I have felt the last 2 days. Snuffly, and a little bit "antsy". And other unusual things going on with my body, that just aint normal for me. Cancelled the quitline txts today, cause every time I have a break at work, there is another one on my phone, and all it does is remind me of smoking. I just read on here about someone who wanted to go and buy a pack of tailor mades, even though she hates them, because she didnt want to go and buy a pack of rollys. That is how I feel. But I havnt. I dont want to fail, but today has been hard. Where has my positive attitude gone? Please send it back, Im lost without it!!! LOL
Good Morning Day 3!
Hmmm not sure how to start this blog, because my very first thought on waking this morning was ..."get a pack of smokes, keep them in the cupboard, and only have one on the weekend!!!!". Where the goodness did that little devil of a thought sneak in from!!!!!???? So, I really do think Im doing OK, but somewhere deep inside, something is telling me otherwise. Yesterday was a little rushed, with work then Miss 13 had netball practice straight after school till 5.30, a very quick tea and then band practice. Before we left for band, Miss 13 and Master 10 were fooling around in the kitchen and smashed a glass. I calmley cleaned it up (with a smile on my face of course) not realising that Miss 13 had put some glass in the rubbish bag without wrapping it properly :(. When we got home at 10pm, I pushed down on the rubbish bag to tie it up, and cut my finger open!! She was most distressed, I told her, calmly , that it was a good lesson learnt, had a glass of water as suggested by quitline (wishing it was a woody LOL), and went to bed. Day 2 over with no smoke!!!
Anyway, Im off to get ready to play in the ANZAC service this morning, which I love doing. Good luck for all on day 3, and stay positive to you all!!!