I thought I had it under control, but the craving started last night when a friend called around. I am now off patches and lozenges. And today that is all I can think about is going up the road and buying a packet. I am a much nicer person when I smoke. I do more I don't feel down. It sounds so stupid. I have tryed his moring to do the 4 d's, but it is just not working Why am I still here in this place when I count up my days all together less a little slip it is around 78 days. But the way I feel it could be day 1. I know I should be good and carry on but I just dont want to. I want to feel happy about what I am doing. Not everyday being a drag. I just can not get my emotions in place. My addiction is just so strong after 38 years. Today I am on my knees. Lots of tears yelling why why why.