Quit Blogs Susannedee

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30May2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs


Getting to the end of day 1. Just went for a run (well a run/walk) and it feels really good. I'm in pain, and it wasn't easy, but man it feels fantastically worth it. Been thinking about cigarettes but not craving. Feels right to be back on the journey again.

Profile image clarence the cat30 May, 2011

Well Done. Day 2 coming up.Take Care.

Profile image Susannedee30 May, 2011

Glad to be back Clarence the Cat. Hope all is well with you. I reckon you're the most supportive blogger ever, and I really appreciate it. You still travelling well?

Profile image Starfish30 May, 2011

Well done-I am nearly at 24 hrs too and feeling good. Just kept myself busy-patches and reading the blogs helps me lots! Keep up the great work and keep checking in. We can support each other as we both stopped at the same time

Profile image Ady30 May, 2011

Yea, im gonna be like you tomorrow susan, im going to help a friend out with some hard physical work, something i havent done for awhile so i might be K.. nacked tomorrow night.
oh well at least i get free firewood. Yaay cos its cold out there now.
keep it up

Profile image Susannedee31 May, 2011

Good on you Ady. Get in amongst it! Physical activity is the way through it I reckon. And going for a run, or chopping fire wood is going to warm you up better than a fire would!

Profile image clarence the cat31 May, 2011

Ah! Chopping firewood is something I love to do. Its soothing somehow, and yes by
the time you've finished you will be so warm lighting the fire will wait.

Profile image Ady31 May, 2011

Yep, Just got home & im shot.!
Not cutting firewood, im building a wall in the middle of a paddock, for a feed pad.

Profile image clarence the cat31 May, 2011

Ady I so miss my farming life. Oh if I was fit I would have a lifestyle block and be so happy.

Profile image Ady31 May, 2011

Lifestyle blocks are damn awesome Clarence, its the new kiwi dream i reckon.
walking mowers that fit in the freezer, free eggs, a mouse trap called "cat" & a possum machine called 'Dog'
Ducks too if you make a pen, 3 sheep if the fencing is up to scratch & of course your local friendly homekill phone number written on the freezer lid.
Yep.... i miss it too Clarence. (its the best lifestyle i've ever had)

Profile image Ady31 May, 2011

Oooppsss almost forgot, & a dirt bike to have some fun, hehehehe

30May2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs

Back on the Wagon

Hi All

It has been a wee while since I have been on this site. I did really well in February and fell off big time in April.

I have been given a once in a lifetime opportunity on an action adventure course, that's 3 weeks long, and is smoke free. So here I am again, back at the beginning.

Patch on, lozenges at the ready. Here we go!

Profile image Tink7330 May, 2011

You can do it!!.. Stay strong and determined and just think how miserable you get with yourself when you do fall off the wagon.. I have only given up for one week, and it has been the longest hardest frustrating time I have had, and SO many times I have wanted to sneak into the cupboard and roll myself one, and I think Why?.. I feel better, Ive come so far, and Ive got sutures in my mouth from having teeth problems because of smoking!!.. You can do it too Susannedee :) We are all with you HUGS xoxox

Profile image Ady30 May, 2011

Hi Susan, Good to see you back, back with more incentive's, & still have that same drive & strength, cooool.
Good on ya, & welcome to the new quit bus.... we just had an upgrade the other day.
dont forget to reset your quit meter.

Profile image Susannedee30 May, 2011

Thanks Tink. You are absolutely right. You do feel better for it. And yeah Ady, what a surprise. It looks totally different, but good. I like it. It feels good to be back too! I reset my stats, again, so am back in business!

Profile image clarence the cat30 May, 2011

Hi Susannedee. Wondered where you had got to. Glad you've decided to rejoin the quit bus. You did well before, so this time you will do MUCH BETTER.

6Apr2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs

Back at Day 1

I figure I have slipped up too many times, it was becoming a habit (excuse the pun!)

So I am back at day 1. Patched up, got the lozenges. Will wait and see where the journey takes me this time.

Kind of feels good to start again. Clean slate.

Profile image clarence the cat6 April, 2011

Thats a brave decision Susannedee.GOOD LUCK!!
A clean slate will let you see just how well you are doing.

Profile image pukako6 April, 2011

Good Luck Susannedee. you can do it

Profile image Kathry6 April, 2011

All the best Susannedee, you can do it. You sound well prepared.

Profile image diya_nz6 April, 2011

Susannedee, just think you have been cutting down so much that giving those last few away will be easier then it was the last time. Chin up, and clean slate, clean start and now you know what's coming you will be prepared to face it head on. Keep strong susanndee x

Profile image Ady6 April, 2011

Excellent susan, Try again, thats the key.
Dont wait & see where the journey takes you,.... you control where & when you want to go, you control the direction.
Would you like to be the captain, well you're now in charge.
good luck.

24Mar2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs

Up and down

The last 53 days have been a real roller coaster. Sometimes I feel so in control, and flying high, and then the next I am as flat as a pan cake, thinking, bugger it, who cares.

I'm exhausted, but rolling on. I fleetingly knocked the patches on the head, thanks to Paul McKenna and his quit methods, not to good effect.

So back to patches and lozenges, and One Day At A Time.

I continue to read all the blogs, and they all continue to inspire me. Sometimes I feel envious of peoples success, and feel like a failure, but stomp on that pretty quickly. The big thing that I am learning, and have to remind myself every day, is that quitting smoking is a process. I am trying to stop an addictive habit that I have had for 26 years. Physically and emotionally it is taking it out of me, but I am slowly learning to live without smoking. Finding other ways to celebrate, commiserate, pass time, it all takes practice.

Well done everyone. I read about the successes and the learning, and it continues to inspire me on my own smoke free trip. Thank you.

Be kind to yourself.

Profile image Silly Bugger24 March, 2011

Hey I know how you feel. I hadn't quite smoked as long as you but know that battle.
I find reading the blogs empowering as well and know that I'm not doing it alone anymore, so you keep it up and remember that one day we will both be smokefree:)

Profile image SummarDaz24 March, 2011

Keep up the good work, I know how hard it is for you, I am still really struggling on day 82, but it does come and go.

I do agree some inspiring blogs to read, that's why I keep coming back here to read them all xx

Profile image just jag24 March, 2011

Hi Susannedee, I know just how you feel, it is so hard to give up something that's been a big part of your life. It really does get easier but we just have to stay aware of the nicodemon sneaking in to tempt us. This site is great because when it's tough you can come here for support and understanding. Success doesn't come easy but we all have so much help. 53 days is awesome, just keep on ODAAT.

Profile image clarence the cat24 March, 2011

You're so right. It is a struggle and the highs and lows are always extreme!!.
Well done on your achievement!! 53 days is so good and I know from your earlier blogs it has not all been plain sailing. You must be so proud having got this far. Stay Strong.

18Mar2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs


Really glad it's the weekend, but find Friday nights hard. It's usually the chill out night at the end of the week, cigarettes and wine. So tonight it's going to be something new. Fish and chips and a DVD. Something funny, not related to disasters, or anything scary. It's a plan!

Profile image Leenz9918 March, 2011

I'm liking your thinking here Susannedee.

Profile image clarence the cat18 March, 2011

Great plan!! You are awesome!!

Profile image Toostie18 March, 2011

great stuff have fun and keep it up! :) you can do it!

Profile image Kathry19 March, 2011

What a good idea, and great the way you know your triggers. Enjoy.

14Mar2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs

Back on track

Have had a fairly average couple of days, where I have lapsed. I've felt really seedy, ill, felt sorry for myself, and it is purely down to smoking. Have felt nauseous and unbalanced all weekend. Spent some time with a friend, and just talked about quitting smoking, and my partner moving out and all that stuff, and got a few things figured out in my head. Then, reading all the blogs on here gave me another kick in the arse!

Shit happens. Every day. To everybody.

It is my choice how I respond to it. My commitment to quitting smoking got a bit wobbly, and that was totally down to me. So, back on track, with a renewed commitment. I will make sure I have my patch on each morning, have my my lozenges in my handbag, and back with the positive smoke free thinking.

My mate also gave me the Paul McKenna Quit Smoking book and CD. I have nearly finished reading it, and had my first listen to the CD. It seems awesome, and another strategy to add to the bunch I've already got.

Off I go again!

Profile image t0maiiz14 March, 2011

Susannedee you are the bomb! I too know exactly how you have been feeling. I have wanted to pick up a smoke and take a puff but I haven't I'm not sure why though because I feel like I really want to. My house is not a happy home at the moment however I have approached outside help for me and my partner.

Good on you my friend for stepping up to the mark and hitting a home run with you renewed commitment.

Kia Kaha...t0maiiz

Profile image clarence the cat14 March, 2011

You have achieved a lot in one little weekend. A lot of serious & heavy stuff happening for you, but you sorted it when you realised Sh*t happens for us all some time or another.
GOOD LUCK with your new resolve to pick up where you left off and go for it!! ODAAT

Profile image pukako14 March, 2011

Good on you for staying focused, that is most of the battle. Keep it up. Everyone is behind you

Profile image Susannedee14 March, 2011

You know, you guys really are the best. Thank you for the ongoing words of encouragement and support. I've just got to keep remembering 'it's a process'. Thanks again.

10Mar2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs

Are lozenges stimulants?

Hi all

I have been smoke free for 38 days, two slips, and am feeling OK, except I am shattered. I am not sleeping, and am still awake most nights until 3 - 4 am. I have alternative sleeping aids but am trying to stay away from them due to their addictive nature and side effects. I know I have probably just got into a bad sleeping habit, but I just had a thought/question about the nicotine lozenges. Nicotine is a stimulant, but just wondered if anyone knows whether the nicotine in the lozenges act the same way. I normally have a lozenge around 10.30pm. I can't drink much coffee or energy drinks or anything with caffeine in it, cause it keeps me awake and/or causes me to sleep walk, and I get anxious. Just a thought. Can anyone help?

Profile image Clean10 March, 2011

Hay :), I have been using them with patches, and I remove them from my system at least a hour before bed... As i get really crazy dreams and dont have sleep well. Good luck xx

Profile image clarence the cat10 March, 2011

Your logic sounds right to me. Maybe you could have your last lozenge earlier in the evening, or just skip the late one and see how you go.
Hang in there!!

4Mar2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs

Making conscious choices

My partner and I have just broken up, and he moved out last night. I have not words to describe how awful it is. Quitting smoking up to now has been difficult, but because I had a goal to keep looking forward to, it kept me motivated and on track.

Apart from all the hurt, grief, loss, sadness, anger and fear, I am freaking out about my smoking. My goal for quitting smoking has gone. We were going to try for baby this year, and that is no longer on the cards.

So I am having a huge 'what's the point' moment. I don't want to smoke, but I have this huge urge to sit down with wine and smokes and and say 'F**k the world', and drink and smoke myself sick and sleep for days.

I've had to make quitting smoking my priority, and have been determined to use every option available to me to help me to succeed. I'm sorry if this post has been a bit too much information. I'm just feeling vulnerable and want to put it out there, so it is real.

I will not drink and smoke. It is not going to help me feel better. It will make me feel worse. I am going to make choices that benefit me, and help me to feel good and well. I will not go that place of shame, guilt and blame. I am going to stay smoke and wine free.

Profile image diya_nz4 March, 2011

Honey. might heart breaks for you.

I would be wanting to do the same as you... But know that tomorrow you would regret it. Tomorrow you would be throwing money away again and harming yourself all over again. Your reasons is still there, you wanted to make yourself healthy.

Just keep saying that last paragraph over and over again to yourself, you will soon believe it.

Big Hugs xx

Profile image shaggy d.a4 March, 2011

Ah I am right in that position today too,a similar stressful situation, I feel for you so much.Hold onto the thought of being able to treat yourself with the money saved. We are strong people!!!

Profile image Susannedee4 March, 2011

We are strong people!

Profile image SummarDaz4 March, 2011

Hang in there Susannedee, every time you feel you want a smoke come in here, we will all support you, big hugs for you xx

Profile image Captinhook4 March, 2011

Susannedee I would just like to say YOU GO GIRL! The fact that you haven't already lit up and puffed away is just so AWESOME! relationships ending are really crap, no one enjoys them, but be so proud of yourself for staying smokefree!!! YOU GOT THIS GIRL! we are all here for you xx

Profile image Ang4 March, 2011

You are a very strong person. I am so sorry for your situation, it makes it very difficult BUT you can use this as a strength. Each time you feel your aching heart, think how pleased it is not to be filling with foul fag smoke. Lots of deep breaths and kindness will help and we are all here for you, anytime. More strength to you Susannedee.

Profile image davidjohn4 March, 2011

Ah u poor thing, know how that felt for m'self once but I'm real happy now just with me and my dog and either you will be toooo or your'll meet another man who is better than that creep that fooooced off. Stay staunch and 'good luck'

Profile image clarence the cat4 March, 2011

Oh you poor darling!! I wish I could reach out and give you a big hug.
It hurts like hell at the moment, but
there will be other relationships. Count your blessings that this one ended before you had children to get hurt as well.
Being smokefree can be a one off.
You have done so well and your strength has got you this far, hang in there, don't go back to the Nicodemon. Stay strong. ODAAT xo

Profile image Kathry4 March, 2011

Huge hugs going to you from all of us. So wonderful you have not lit up as a result ... what strength! :) xx

Profile image pukeko4 March, 2011

Must be something in the universe...You go girl ..xx ..I think it is to be true to yourself......& do not let the smokes take control because it rocks your world & takes everything away from you that you are becoming ....Make it your journey for you ...because you deserve the best ...& don't start to smoke because I know how it feels it hurts it aches & you feel like the lowest person so stay there on top buddy !! YOU DESERVE THE BEST !!!!!! xx just a little bit of me xx

Profile image Scramble4 March, 2011

The point is you : )
That's who you quit for no one else, so don't let someone take that power away from you.
It sucks but we've all been there and I'm sure you've been there before too.
So chin up, boobs out, lipstick on and go grab the world by it's balls!
Pukeko could be right, maybe this is the greater good telling you, you need some time to better yourself and if he's not going to stick around for the journey well he misses out on the best that you can be and more : )

Profile image Ady4 March, 2011

Hi Susan, You have had a very difficult time havent you.
Try not to confuse the quit smoking goal & the relationship goals, they are very different to each other.
I dont know why you've had a break-up but it is still possible that after you both 'cool down' you may be able to save & continue your relationship, sometimes its just stress & goals getting in the attitude to cause such a disruption, if you were talkin of starting a family this year then you both must believe that you're compatible.
I dunno, thats something you have to decide on but make sure you have both calmed down before talking.
Now aside from that...... Stay quit, quitting has nothing to do with other problems, its just another test, another little challenge, dont let stress push you to the tobacco addiction.

You have done so well to get this far, its important to stay with the plan, stay quit, then you only have 1 problem to deal with not 2.
Who knows. this could be a turn for the better, only you can answer that question, this is Your life, you only get 1 chance, what is it that YOU want, choose wisely.!
No point rushing these things, take the time to think clearly, Good luck Susan.

2Mar2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs

31 days

Day 31. Awesome. A milestone for me.

I still feel strong and motivated, but I am getting a bit tired. I haven't had a decent sleep since I quit, I have been having really bad head aches, and feeling a bit anxious and jumpy. I'm still feeling good though, if that makes sense. Stoked about how much I am not spending, and am loving that I don't smell like an ashtray anymore. Both of my sisters have stopped as well, so it is cool talking to them on the phone (we are all spread out over the north island) about how we're doing, and hearing the little stories of how their families are suffering/celebrating with them in their quit journeys. This site really has been a god send, and I can't thank you all enough. Leenz, Clarence, Tootsie, Kathry, Gemrat, Everyone. Just reading the stories, hearing the encouragement, the normalising of how I'm feeling so that I don't feel so alone, hearing about the successes, and learning new bonuses about being smoke free, all these things have been priceless.

Thank you everyone. May we all live long and prosper, Smoke Free.

I also have remembered it is smoke free day in May, and I am really excited to be well into my new smoke free life to celebrate it. That really will be a success for me!

Profile image clarence the cat2 March, 2011

Wonderful milestone!!! I too had forgotten Smokefree day in May. It WILL be great to be able to be part of it for real.
Have you thought about a herbal tea to help you relax and get a better sleep Susannedee?
Keep up the good work. ODAAT

Profile image Binunny2 March, 2011

Hi there, Susannedee- Yep I have also had sleeping issues.Don't be too proud to go to the doc if you need a hand for sleeping to get you started in a good pattern to sleep-nothing worse than not getting good sleep!I feel for ya and good luck in that department and a big thumbs up for the 31 days smokefree!Awesome!

Profile image gemrat2 March, 2011

I totally get what you are saying. I am feeling tired as well. I did have a few good sleeps but are sleeping like crap again. It wears you down doesn't it. It is so nice to not smell of smoke anymore. We must of stunk real bad. I smelt my friend the other day after she just had a smoke and it was disgusting.

Hope you get a good nights sleep soon. Good to hear that you are doing so well.

Profile image Kathry2 March, 2011

Congratulations on 31 days! The sleep thing is frustrating, but I keep reminding myself I used to have periods of bad sleep when I was smoking ... only then I used to get up and have a fag when I woke up! Stay strong.

1Mar2011 By Susannedee  |  Permalink  |  Report Support me - Follow my blogs


I have been on and off this site like a jumping bean all day today. I feel like a smoke free stalker. I'm not sure why but I am feeling really antsy, jumpy. I have got my patch on, sucking my lozenges, but I just can't seem to concentrate on anything. It's not the first time I have felt like this, but it is really bad to day and driving me bananas. Not sure what to do, and not really expecting a fix, just thought that if I am going to do my jumpy on and off the site act then I may as well post something.

I hope everyone is having an awesome day.

Profile image Toostie1 March, 2011

i hope you've gotten through the arvo ok and stay strong for tonight! i hate these days but you are strong and you can do it!! keep up the great work!

Profile image clarence the cat1 March, 2011

Hi Susannedee. Keep checking in here. It sure helps me when I feel I would like to smoke again.
You seem to be doing so well. Just be strong and your antsy jumpy feelings will pass. Hang in there.

Profile image Kathry1 March, 2011

Hi Susandee ... I hope your day got better. It's a good idea to use the site as a distraction in those twitchy days!