Its been rough lately
24 days smokefree but i have a lot on my plate at the moment. Mainly my own mental health....but im so busy, so tired, just so much stuff, just want to ramble on about stuff and dont even know what haha.
Ive had a few times lately when ive really wanted a smoke, but i wont buy them, i dont physically crave, i think if i had one i would probably be sick, but the mental craving is there. Just the calmness it gives, the psychological affect...i used to use it to help me calm down and now i cant. I dont even want it, i just want one of my calming techniques.
Instead Im sitting here blogging with a giant stuffed unicorn toy from the Minions movie on my lap to make me feel better lol. No judging, im a senses person and holding something heavy and soft calmes me down, but hopefully this passes soon as not easy
Stats Update: 21 days smokefree
Smokefree days: 21 days
Grams NOT smoked: 90
Total savings: $100.00
wow im actually quite pleased with myself. Im having some rough times at the moment. My oldest is seeing a social worker for anxiety, my baby is teething his molars and very clingy, my partner is really business managing the family business and i feel like i just dont get a second to myself some days. I wonder how i fit in a smoke...i guess we just make time when you smoke. Its just a thing. Now i just do "other" things. Clean more, do more stuff with my kids etc. I find im more organised, have more lists haha. I have a few rough patches, but i look at my savings..$100, and im happy, my partner likes how i smell, my oldest says my breath doesnt stink anymore, and i feel prettier again i guess. So yes im keeping at this, and not just for now, i plan to keep at it for good
this breathing issue
god its annoying. You'd think it would be better by now right? Yup im only 18 days...yes im an asthmatic..yes i need to be patient (i dont do patience) i want to feel better now. But i smoked for nearly 18 years so there you go. Lucky i didnt end up with COPD apparently. Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease for those who dont know...its caused by smoking and leads to Emphysema which usually can kill you, my Uncle has it and is dying from it. I got the test for it and luckily passed, scared me slightly though must say.
But i had this silly thought id be able to breathe better by now, i dont need to run off to the dr, i know my asthma is playing up and need to manage it better etc, ive been told by Dr, to be honest im just having a mindless vent. Im frustrated. I walk my son 5 minutes up a small hill round the corner to daycare, perfect little walk to get some fat burning in if i pushed myself, but i my lungs cant handle it. High expectations and cant meet them i know, settle down. Im trying people, trust me.
how many of you sleep with them on? I cant sleep without them. I find i wake up and instantly turn into a cranky psycho who needs a smoke without a patch on. Id rather just deal with the funky dreams thanks. So far im on 17 days smokefree and i think ive had only 2 strange dreams, they wernt even bad dreams, just weird..saying that i am on a mental health medication that is meant to also control strange dreams...not for that reason but for a mental health illness i have.
Day 17 and im doing ok...can definitely breathe better, still struggle to breathe properly when i walk, but i guess that will take longer, dont enjoy the smell so much anymore, well i lie, i like fresh smell, i dont like stale smell, i used to like any smell. I want to buy a new dressing gown with my saved money because my old one smells of smoke as i used it in the morning when i had my morning smoke and then took it off so my kids didnt have to smell it so much.
Still definitely doing the ODAAT motto though and lots of breathe in and out lol
I have a question about this smokers cough
Its annoying....so one of the reasons along with others, but one of my main reasons for giving up smoking is i got 4 lung infections in 3 months. I have chronic asthma too, got given antibiotics so many times, steroids, which in turn gave me thrush, it was just a lovely cycle.
Anyway, to my question, ive just finished my 4th course of antibiotics for another supposed lung infection (ugh), had steriods again, changed inhalers, and been smokefree now for 15 days...got the smokers cough i think...well im pretty sure i do...its pretty phlegmy but wont always dislodge (sorry tmi) which to me is also my asthma, so can be frustrating...my question to you guys is...how long till this smokers cough settles a bit?
Another milestone i wanted to talk about
I do a lot of blogging and im sorry if it bothers people but im a very chatty person and i find this site very helpful as everyone is in the same boat and this site helps me get my thoughts out.
One of my close friends smokes. Went and saw her at work and she took her "smoko" break. She instantly asked me if she had to stand like half a street away from her, jokingly as last time i saw her about a week ago i had barked at her to stand as far away as possible or i would murder her lol. This time i asked her to only stand about a foot away and down wind from me, was even happy to give her a hug and a kiss and had no craving or anything afterwards. Didnt ask for a cheeky puff. Was really proud considering i was only at 14 days. Random proud moment, thanks for listening everyone
Stats Update: 14 days smokefree
Smokefree days: 14 days
Grams NOT smoked: 60
Total savings: $50.00
Yay Ive reached 2 weeks Big milestone for me. The beginning is really the hard part. The habits, the psychological part, the routines. All those parts, i still do find myself thinking oh yup smoke time, and then remember im no longer a smoker and feel proud i havent given in and refuse to.
ODAAT we can all do this. I suffer from a mental health illness and have a ton going on and have always used smoking as a form of coping so if i can do it i hope other people can too :)
13 days :)
I think i can breathe better...i think lol. Im an asthmatic so sometimes its not easy, and ive only just finished battling a lung infection so that could also be a reason why i feel i can breathe better, oh so frustrating. Still nice to smell better though.
Dont always like having my smelling senses back stronger though haha. I live with 2 boys and one grown up male my partner. Gosh they leave smells as kids do...i have 2 wax warmers going, air out the house every day, tell them to take their smelly socks off as soon as they walk in the door (mean mummy haha) and still i can smell it, didnt used to when i smoked.
Heres to 2 weeks smoke free tomorrow for me, yay
wow the days go fast. Sometimes i get excited ive gotten this far, but i know the nico-demon can jump at anytime so will just keep blogging like some of the guys i see on here do. Theres some really high numbers on here i see. At one point i think i got up to over a year without smoking and i started again. Dumb stuff, silly stress got to me.
I bought a fidget cube online to help myself to find something to do with my hands if anyone is struggling with that problem there are some available to buy here. Just search our normal online places.
Had to turn down a party yesterday, both of my friends smoke and i just couldnt face the smoking, but they both understood so was all good.
Day 7 probably the hardest this far....
arg!! why are people so annoying!!! they currently annoy me when they drive wrong, they chew wrong, speak out out of order, anything...today was one of the harder days.
Ive developed an ulcer on the side of my tongue from chewing my tongue when i think theres gum there when there isnt from stress haha, How bad is that.
Spent a lot of the afternoon getting quite grumpy at my poor partner. I think i mentioned wanting a ciggie about 10 times in about an hour...didnt give in but wow how can such a little stupid stick make me feel like this. So frustrating.
I seem to vent a lot randomly about things too, its my way of dealing with inside feelings so talking heaps to keep my mouth busy lol.