Day 5 again
Hey you guys - you make me cry! I'm feeling the love and taking your advice. I think my partner will come round too. He's suffering and digging his heels in but I know he'll work it out.
I've got such a great chance to turn my health around - I will not fail!
My only problem with not smoking is when I'm at home. I've cracked it at work by eating fruit and jelly beans (no saturated fat but a few zits!)
I've cracked it in the car by using occasional gum and the radio to distract me.
I've cracked it round other people's houses by staying indoors or hanging out with my niece.
Hmmm I remember day 6 was hard last time so I'll keep smiling, ask my boyfriend to stay away unless he can smoke outside, and keep busy.
Thank you all so much for your support and kind words. The Quit Coach is really clever and good. Onwards and upwards!
Day 4 again
Oh poop. I fluffed up. Never mind.
I got my medical diagnosis and I have an aortic thrombosis which is so bad. No wonder my legs hurt! They're only supplied with blood via my small blood vessels which amazingly have grown bigger to compensate. My amazing body doing all this compensatory work while I sucked poison into it. Oh well, so I have a propensity to clot. Obviously I can't smoke any more.
So after slipping at the weekend, then moving to having one or two in the evenings it just has to stop again.
Now I haven't smoked since Monday, yay! I can feel the changes again in my body and it feels good.
It helps that my partner is working away and not smoking in the house. He says he won't come round if he has to smoke outside - how crazy is that? I can feel a big argument somewhere on the horizon. Oh dear. The Quit Coach says that smoking is not worth losing friends over (or boyfriends?) but I think it's for him to see that, not me. I have to put my health first.
Anyhoo, it's nice to be blogging again. I missed all you guys! Keep up the good work - you're all amazing.
Day 15 Part 2
I so feel like a non smoker. I haven't had any chewing gum today. Still wearing my medium strength patch but removing at night.
I am determined to be able to drink alcohol and not smoke but I'm not beating myself up about it. In fact I did drink and not smoke, but then I became drunk and that's what twisted my head. And that happens to loads of non smokers I know. They always asked me for smokes before! I have absolutely no reason to get drunk now: no banging parties or celebrations to attend where I'm not driving, so the future looks clear and smoke free.
Really looking forward to payday so I can buy more fruit, and experiment with wheat or rice noodles. Really need to get a repertoire of low fat meals that my partner will like too. He's still smoking and I so want to help his health too. Bad habits are hard to break so I'm leading by example. Down with smoking! Down with butter! Down with salt!
Has anyone else noticed the coughing continues even when you don't smoke? I can't believe that I was still coughing up crap days and days after stopping, and I still have a husky voice. The tar in my lungs must be insane!
Another bright new day. OK, I have to admit I ended up smoking at a quake party we had to raise money for the Red Cross. Alcohol has always made me not care about my health! It makes sense really because it is another drug and yet another poison, so of course the alcodemon would be self serving too.
I spent a sleepless night worrying about clots in my legs, worried that every twinge meant good bye leg and hello stump!
In a way I'm so lucky. I mean there is no point me smoking again because to put myself through that fear is so not worth it, my choices are becoming clearer and clearer.
The cigarettes tasted rough and stank stronger than I remembered.
I so admire all my fellow quitters, turning your backs on the nicodemon without the same strong motivation that I have. My quitting is currently driven by fear; your quitting is driven by reasoning and intellect, common sense and amazing will power.
Well, I'm back on board for good this time. I can't be doing with all that extra worry at this stressful time.
One thing I do know about cholesterol is that your liver needs vitamin C to process it and get it out of your body so CHEERS! I'm off for a pomegranate juice.
Wow! I've had so much support and so may good wishes from you guys! I no longer feel alone in my fight against this demon, but now I'm like a soldier in a huge army. Aha! take that you pathetic poisoner! My new challenge is to try and repair my body as quickly as possible with blueberries, oats and all things great for cholesterol absorption. It's helping to keep me focussed. My teeth are so much cleaner these days and I think I look a bit pinker instead of that insipid yellow colour!
You are all wonderful. Let's enjoy the rest of our lives smokefree x
Hi fellow sane people
It's been difficult today. I've felt tearful. I think it's a cumulation of the earthquake followed by the threat of double amputation followed by a CT scan of my legs yesterday and all the time having to go to work and pretend everything is normal! Bound to be a bit tearful I suppose! The crazy thing is that as soon as I felt glum, and sorry for myself I wanted a cigarette. It was less to do with having a reward and more to do with sticking 2 fingers up to the world that has made me unhappy. I often thought that smoking was a symptom of a lack of personal responsibility but really I think the nicotine (and other chemicals combined) twist our reasoning to make us act irresponsibly towards ourselves. Well, no more! The self pride I have felt over the last few days is better than any smoke. I am sticking to my guns and not running away from the truth. I cannot believe this habit has ensnared me for 28 years. Life begins at 44 I say.
I'm over day 4 thanks to reading your blogs for support, and onto day 5. Day 4 seemed to be difficult for lots of you so I allowed myself to sleep through some of the evening which helped get me through.
My story is that I got a mozzie bite on my ankle and it wouldn't heal. Eventually got sent to the vascular clinic by one very astute GP. Everyone, including most doctors kept saying I was too young for circulatory problems in my legs. Even the vascular nurse said that smoking would affect me in ten years time ... then she took the pulses in my feet! In short, I have very seriously hardened arteries at age 44. My legs started hurting a bit when I walked about 8 years ago so I obviously have a propensity for high cholesterol. Now I have to stop smoking or I face a double amputation - seriously! I thought I might die of a stroke or heart attack one day but so what! When you're dead you're dead, right? But losing my lovely legs has put a whole new spin on it all.
So, I allowed myself one last day of the evil weed, and smoked right up to midnight. I am now using patches (medium strength) and chewing gum.
Don't let this happen to you! Stop now, or at least take vitamin C and eat plenty of fibre while you are smoking. Smoking is evil and twisted and is not, nor has ever been, your friend.
I am proud of myself for stopping now and am very positive for my future. I'm also proud and grateful to you all for posting your blogs which helped me though yesterday.
Onwards and upwards! I really hope my mozzie bit leaves a scar now because it may just have saved my life!