$2 in credit . . . .
Well is has been 39 smoke free days, 390 cigarettes not smoked and i have paid off my overdraft and am in credit with $2 haha!!
have been feeling a bit out of sorts of late. had a major screaming banshee episode with my hubby the other night - not quite sure how or why it went as far as it did. i just feel a bit f***ed off with the world at the moment. Not sure if it is the smoking thing or if it is the weather and it's christmas and nothing is done and we not able to go home :( - it's not the money cos we got that :) Oh well get over it.
I'm pretty stoked with my stats - and apart from the whole nutting out thing i'm really proud of myself for remaining a non-smoker. there has certainly been a lot of times when i could have used recent events as excuses to start - but i haven't. i have not indulged the extremely self destructive side of my personality - i've not gone oh screw it give it to me (cigarette drink drugs (sorry mum)) i have remained in control - perhaps now i've turned 40 i am growing up - hahaha - bout bloody time!!
anyway thanks for letting me ramble. have a wonderful smokefree weekend. hopefully the sun will come out to play.
30 days, 1 month
am pretty stoked.... been a few days since i've been online. After cathcing up on your blogs - some are doing very well and anothers not so. Congrats to those who are and to those who are struggling "hang in there guys".
The warning i got while reading your blogs which i want to cement in my mind is that . . . . I must resist that first smoke; if I don't i'm screwed - it will grab a hold of me so quickly and NEK MINNUT i'm back in the fold - maybe only 1 or 2 to start but it will increase . . . .
I could have been another statistic and this could have been my start again blog . . . thank god it isn't
Had my work do on Sat night and had quite a few drinkees - apparently on the way home i was saying to my husband just stop and buy some smokes go on it's ok - lol - he didn't and i'm really pleased about that. When i awoke the next morning; he told me and i thought thank god - i would have definitely thrown up - oh and my throat would have been screwed and i would have had that horrid taste in my mouth and an even worse headache!!
i have wondered since then why did i actually want him to buy some - really why!! what i want to know is would i have bought some if he hadn't been there? In my sober state I say no way - but in my "ah it's ok i'm drunk state" i'm not so sure. Seems too much alcohol could be the make or break part of the journey for me.
i know i don't want to smoke and everyone is so proud of me for quitting and have to remember to not fall for the trick and have that "first one"
Smoke free days - 30 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked - 300
Money saved - $189.00
Go hard guys and have a lovely smokefree evening xx
Hi Guys – hope you have all been well and enjoying being smokefree xx
It has been a rough few days guys and have felt very out of sorts, a bit devastated and tired from fighting these urges . . .
I discovered that my son has still be smoking – it may have been his first but I don't know – he walked in from school I was was having a chat with my mum in Christchurch I kissed him hello and then registered I had smelt smoke – asked mum to hang on and asked him if he had been smoking and went in for another sniff he quickly stuffed the banana muffin in his mouth and all I could smell was bloody banana. The next . . . test sniffed his fingers and that anwsered my question. The stupid boy denied it and is still denying it – OMG – I caught him red handed!! I am gutted not only because he smoked but more importantly because he lied – redhanded and he still lied.
So I went and had a wine with my rocking girlfriend who doesn't smoke around me (love her). I was feeling really weak and was thinking why on earth am I even bothering now with this whole quit thing – the main reason I was doing it was to be an good example for my son! He smoking so what the point. I kept thinking “just one” - “just one won't hurt” - it was insane. But I knew that it wouldn't be just one so I told my girlfriend I was feeling weak and not to give me one and she said she wasn't going to even if I did ask for it.
Majority of the last few days has been spent fighting the nicodemon and having my inner monologues - you don't want a smoke – you are a non-smoker – deep breath!!!
Sorry for the blah blah blog guys – had to get it out – but . . . .
On a more positive note I have realised I am remaining a non-smoker not for my son but for me because I really want this – I don't want to be a dirty smoker anymore.
Smoke free days - 21 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked - 210
Money saved - $138.60
Take care all and have a great smokefree evening xx
ticking along . . .
Quite nicely - still haven't had to use any NRT since Day 2 which rocks. I still carry one in my bag just in case.
My smokefree LIFE is getting easier - the thoughts of smoking still pop in at certain times - but go just a quickly and really don't cause me to much stress or discomfort.
I do not feel like I am missing out at all. But the habit of smoking does catch me sometimes especially in social situations.
I am so stoked with my stats and really believe that finally I am a non-smoker.
Smoke free days - 15 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked - 150
Total savings - $100.80
I am aware that it is still only early days and I cannot take it for granted and will stay vigilant as slips can happen when you least expect it.
Thank you all for your support and encouragement - it really means a lot that you are all here.
Have a wonderful SMOKEFREE evening. Take care and chat soon.
P.S. so this week 3 thing - what can I expect and when should I expect it???
where is everybody ???
- i hope the reason you have all been quiet today is because you are so busy living your smokefree lives and today has been easy and fantastic for you all
- not because you have fallen off the bus - ooops i mean train LOL
Thinking of you all.
after posting my blog last night i was in such a dilemma of what to do - i talked to my husband and he said do you want to go and i said yes i do - he said well what is the problem then - and i said i'm scared i will cave - and he said but you are a non-smoker and you won't - and i said i know - and he said so what's the problem . . . . why do men feel they have to fix everything and why is everthing so bloody black and white to them?? Sometimes i just want him to say 'yeah i get what your saying - it'll be all goods babe'
So I jumped got back on the computer and read your replies - i then wrapped myself in a blanket and assumed the faetel position on the couch. i was feeling so very sorry for myself!! I was mulling over everything you guys had said. My son was watching Tosh.O and my husband had gotten back on the computer and i thought to myself stuff this - i'm gonna go and you can just back the f**k off nicodemon.
I went, I partied, I conquered!!!
Even though everyone was smoking around me - i did not partake.
I did have to have a wee self talk at one point - closed my eyes and took a deep breathe - thought about after the smoke i would have to brush my teeth, wash my hands, spray perfume - (otherwise my husband would know) - then thought about the sore throat and the cough and waking up the next day with the wheezing chest (cos it happens that quick with me one night and its back). Remembered that i had a class at the gym in the morning and would end up not going if i smoked.
And then remembered that I would have to go through the last 13 days again - not going to happen. I had a great time once I let the smoking thing go - and was quite at ease with it all.
Thank you all so much for the encouragement last night - so appreciate it.
I AM A NON SMOKER AND I WILL BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE -
Stay strong team - and have a great smokefree evening xx
WTF - he has come calling
well it has been 11 days of bliss and all of a sudden that little b*st*rd has come knocking and really loudly.
aaarrrggghhh - why now - far out!!!
Does he know that I have a party to go 2 tonight? Does he know that there are people there who will be smoking? He wants me to go and cave!!!
I am now not sure if i should go - poos and wheeze - was so looking forward to it :(
Oh what to do . . . . sigh
question - but not very lady like
is anyone else experiencing a change in motions - if you get what i mean?
I know we have discussed the change in farts but the other -
RAINBOWFISH - where are you hon?
. . .was just thinking about you and realised we haven't heard from you today?!
I hope you are not giving yourself a hard time still :( If you are please stop :)
Please let us know you are OK?
What a gorgeous day . . .
to be smokefree and enjoy the smell of the blossoming flowers. Feeling really good - apart from feeling a little bit testy and a bit sensitive at times - feel I am doing pretty good.
10 days done and dusted; 100 smokes not smoke; $63.00 saved - overdraft getting smaller :-)
On day 11 and very excited about nailing 14 days / 2 weeks - bring it on!!
Have a great smokefree Team. Take care and enjoy breathing easy!!