Well the stats say it all 150 days smokefree! My daily goals--- to just get through the day, has been replaced with enjoying my days not being controlled by an addiction. Nice!
Quitting smoking is a HUGE journey and one I have travelled before. There is a difference from this time and previous times..... this website and the people that regularly support us. I have never met the people here but they have impacted on my life, encouraged me to stay strong, allowed me to cry, didn't judge me when I slipped up, listened to me complain and believed in me. WOW what a gift!
So thank you Clarence the Cat for being my number 1 supporter.. You helped me QUIT.. thank you. Rainbowfish, Ady, Clematis, Dave Dunedin and countless others, thank you for picking me up when I was down.
While I still get caught out with THAT feeling, I now say “no, I am smokefree” to it and away it goes
What a journey! Always the crying one I am, a few tears now.. sniff sniff x
Day 2 or 3 no patch
Day 60.... wow.... wow.. wow... Have not put a patch on for a couple of days and it is great/ fine/ good/ easy (er).
I need to get the lower dose but I seem to ring outside hours all the time... (I'm secretly hoping this blog will reward me with an reply by quitline, its kinda become the golden ticket that only the lucky few get.... 'a reply to your post from quitline' ha ha)
Happy days... loving it
Thinking positive thoughts for all the bloggers out there... we can do this (then have a annual conference) x
Its happened I slipped today! It wasn't even like I was craving a smoke.
We were at a friends and celebrating a birthday at lunch. Beautiful day, all kids playing nicely, day off work and a glass of bubbly.Nice. My friend (non smoker) and I decided to share a smoke. I rolled it..we each had 3 puffs. I could barely inhale it, it was so foul. It nearly made me sick.
Then boom, the guilt is there so fast! So day 54 and I have had my first puff. Disappointed in myself. I really wanted to see how I felt having one. I had every intention of of having a whole smoke and a drink... I just couldn't do it
Totally on guard now................. oh no :(
Another RE post arrrrr
Well I take the saying 'bull by the horns' seriously! While I am on my mission to stay a non smoker I have done every other change possible (nearly). Cut my long hair that I've had for life short (and love it), putting a tender on a new house (nice), started ariel yoga (don't ask), started a new contract as a tutor (flash) and weeded my garden ( long overdue).
So it sounds like life is all hunky dory! But day 50 for me, on patches still (every second day), can got out without a patch and not worry. Today I have been battling the nicodemon ALL afternoon! The further I get along in days the less frequent the cravings are, but when they come they feel the same. The optomistic in me would say 'well that is progress'.. it is.
I couldn't shake this craving so have come back on here as I KNOW this works.... Thank you for listening and taking the time to respond! You really are life savers!
PS Day 50.... yipee!
Patch Firmly Attached!
Well I'm feeling like my rollercoaster is coasting! I'm enjoying it while it lasts.
I need to have a patch on though but was thinking of going to a lower dose. Have reflected on my last blogs which were pretty low.. .. I guess I got to moments were I chose not to fight back, and allowed the cravings to embrace and take over. DANGEROUS!
I haven't smoked at all and I'm super proud. I feel in control of my own body and mind. It's day 35 I think and my first 'positive' blog!
It DOES get easier! Nice x
Bad Day and Insomnia
I have really been fighting my inner demon this weekend. I think I reached a new low tonight.......
The patches give me insomnia if I don't take it off before 6pm..... so after still not getting to sleep after midnight, I decided to go without a patch today. After a some stress (to me it seems irrelevant what the stress is, is just my addiction playing my weakness) I decided to head to a friends house tonight. He does not smoke but 3 of his housemates do.
I went with the sole purpose of having a smoke. I totally got carried away with the craving and did NOTHING to delay it. In fact I couldn't wait... the most amazing thing happened... ALL 3 had run out!!!! My friend was laughing saying he had never seen no smokes in the house. I'm in no doubt I would have had one
To cut the blog short... I feel very weak to temptation at the moment and feel in a dangerous place. The patch goes back on in the morning, I know I will have a better day.
Time to get some sleep, if I can
My body has is first hangover as a non smoker... yes I did it!! Think I can handle these hangovers where you can still breath the next day!
I watched everyone smoking last night (not many people, saw 4 out of about 1000)... actually asked an old friend I bumped into if she still smoked (thinking I could ask her for one) but she had stopped for 2 years! So that was that. Scary though what would I have done had she said YES......
Feel great today for not having a smoke... when I logged in the 'question' popped up... i felt great ticking NO, NOT EVEN A PUFF!!
Worst craving yet.... in party mode for art deco...just having a wonderful night with good company (no smokers) and great food. My addiction has told me its ok to go out tonight and have one... this is the first craving where I am totally buying into it.
Have done a couple of days with no patches and only put a patch on a couple of hours ago (in anticipation for tonight)..... oh no... its the battle of the mind... weakened by wine, not good. Feel slightly better blogging.
Thinking of my smoke free family right now xxx
Not great today
I have been good over the last week. Normal thoughts of smoking, scattered with a few big cravings, peppered with the odd occassion watching friends smoke.
But helllo... I've hit a wall this morning. Both kids are not home, I'm suppose to be working from home. They left an hour ago.. this whole time I have been thinking about smoking. Its a real trigger for me, being at home alone working. My thoughts are so scattered at the moment I can't seem to focus, I have done no work....... and my addiction is telling me I can't actually relax and get any work done until I smoke. This is my first time working from home as a non smoker.
Have been reading blogs..... oh and hello what's this coming..... TEARS again! I think I might be day 21 or 22.. its going to be rough........ :(
I feel a craving right now!!! Trying to post supportive comments to other bloggers.. when I post a 'fatal error' shows and kicks me off the web site...... arrrggghhhh.
The worrying thing is the craving is fast turning to food! Other bloggers have hit this wall too. I think I have already put on weight and it's just making me unhappy. I have signed up for a fitness class which is once a week, 10 weeks already paid so no bailing on that. I pre spent the money I have saved. My family outside my immediate, have no hestitation pointing out when I have gained weight...... and will pull up photos of when I have stopped before and mention how big I looked....... sniff sniff.
I know this is not a weight loss blog site, but it really is playing on my mind. Which on a positive note means I'm not thinking about smoking!!
Good thing though... I am doing this!!!